I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
