Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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