so that wasnt chicken after all
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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