I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize