My boss' voice literally gives me gas
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I had to cum in my sink.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
