a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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