dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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