have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
