I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize