how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Randomize
