The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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