We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
The Olympian is in my bed
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
