Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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