i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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