i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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