Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
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she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
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You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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