Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize