You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
the raccoons are back...
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