I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
