I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I have feelings that need drinking.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
