A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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