Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
