I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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