I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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