if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
