Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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