so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize