Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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