Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize