I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
