oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
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