Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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