FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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