you guys were way drunker than both of me
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
