Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
My penis needs a shock collar
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
