the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
