Already got asked if we're dating
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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