my vag is so smooth its legendary
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
