Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I wish i was in the wii world.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
