AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you didnt know i had herpes?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Is Oprah even human
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
