We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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