Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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