If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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