ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
