i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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