Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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