Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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