he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
