Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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