No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
