Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Randomize
