The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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