Where did you get a picture of my penis
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
