no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize