If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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