I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
