Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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