her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
