I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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