i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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