my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
