I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
